The Trouble With Genius
by GreatKateZonkeyMachine
Summary: The enemy of my enemy is my friend? Yeah right. Artemis Fowl & Reynie Muldoon are boy geniuses - something they have in common. Together, maybe they could stop their deadly foe. Too bad another thing they have in common is a mutual loathing to the bone.
1. The Sith

Author's Note: **Ohmyflippingoditsfinallyhere.**

**Okay, this fic has been in my Coming Soon section **_**forever,**_** and I hope the anticipation built up nicely. By the way, I spent a lot of time researching this blasted city in Pakistan, so you better appreciate it!**

**First chapter = Artemis's POV.**

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Disclaimer: **I don't own… Hey, look! I just spotted "The-b00k-was-better" on the copyright page of **_**Artemis Fowl.**_** Huh. Turns out I do own these books after all!**

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It was a chilly day in Skardu, Pakistan—sunny, but cool. The city park was not crowded. A fountain was playing merrily near the entrance to the park. Not a soul noticed the twelve-year-old boy, or the hunched old fisherman he was appraising, or the mammoth-sized man watching them intently—clearly they were just western tourists.

"How did you find me?" said Artemis.

The fisherman chuckled. "We can do many things that _you_ do not understand."

"You'd be surprised," Artemis replied.

The fisherman gave the boy a withering look and stood up straighter. "You think you understand us, human?"

Artemis smirked. "Well, I must say I—"

The fisherman transformed. His hat shriveled into nothing, his complexion became darker, his jacket lengthened and closed, the wrinkles in his face stretched and faded away, his eyes darkened, his lips became fuller.

Artemis was now staring at a Pakistani woman of about twenty-four.

"Do you understand_ that?_" she said to him, a hint of danger in her melodic voice.

"No," said Artemis. "I've never seen anything like you before."

A look of satisfaction passed over the woman's face.

A child across the water had seen the transformation. He was tugging on his mother's arm excitedly and pointing. She shrugged him off.

"Why did you bring me here?" said Artemis.

The woman smiled, showing dazzling white teeth. "Why else? So you could see me. I wanted to thank you for what you did."

Artemis raised his eyebrows. "Have we met before?"

"You mean you don't remember?" The woman laughed. "Well, I suppose I am quite different now from the way I once was."

"And how was that?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

Artemis laced the fingers of his hands together, keeping his fascination hidden behind a mask of patience. "What are you?" he asked. "What do you call yourself?"

"I am not of any family of the People," she replied. "Not anymore. I am a Sith. I am _the_ Sith."

The Sith theatrically morphed again, becoming shorter and more bony, her breasts diminishing, her hair shooting into her skull, a pair of spectacles materializing over her eyes, until _she_ was again a _he_: a skinny bald boy roughly his own age, wearing round glasses, with skin the color of weak tea.

"Sith," said Artemis, "you are very unique."

The bald boy laughed, in a different voice but the same tone. "I know much better than you how _unique_ I am—rather ironic, considering that _you _were the one who created me."

Artemis's eyes widened slightly, but he controlled himself. "Refresh my memory."

The bald boy only looked at him with laughter in his eyes.

Around them, people were still sparsely milling around the park. A businessman in a suit sat down on the edge of the fountain to get something out of his briefcase. No one paid the two boys any attention except the muscular Eurasian man sitting on the bench on the other side of the trail.

"Please," said Artemis. "You contacted me and led me to this city—but you are telling me nothing."

"Oh, but this is not for _you_, Artemis Fowl," said the Sith. "It is for me."

The businessman stood up and walked past them, heading for the park exit. Still no one gave the Sith a second glance.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean," Artemis replied.

The Sith smiled and opened its mouth—but all that came out was a sound like a balloon deflating. The boy's skinny body shuddered, and then he closed his eyes and collapsed. When he did, Artemis saw the suited businessman behind him, pocketing a ballpoint pen. Then the businessman threw the passed-out Sith over his shoulder and began to run.

All this happened in one second.

And in the next second, Butler sprang into action.

A Sig Sauer pistol produced from nowhere fired multiple times at the man, but his skills were a match for Butler's. He dodged the bullets expertly and ran with the abducted fairy towards a car in the parking lot.

By now, the few people in the area were screaming and running in fear and bafflement. Artemis saw someone speaking into a phone. This was going to get very complicated, very soon.

Butler reached into each of his boots and pulled out two throwing knives, which he slung at the kidnapper. He dodged both and ducked into the car, the engine starting an instant later. Butler sprinted after him, but the car screeched backwards and he was forced to get out of its way.

Their own car was fortunately nearby. Butler unlocked it remotely as the two of them ran towards it. Artemis opened the door to get into the passenger seat, but Butler held out a hand. "I think you should take the back seat, sir," he said to his young charge. "It's a bit safer. This will be a bumpy ride."

Artemis chose to follow his suggestion, and they drove after the kidnapper. The two vehicles crashed onto the main road, speeding after one another. Other cars honked and swerved narrowly out of their way. "Butler!" said Artemis. "Can you stop them without killing the fairy?"

"That'll be tricky," Butler replied.

Ahead of them, something flew out of the window of the man's car. It hit their windshield and stuck, attached by some sort of suction device.

"Is that a…calculator?"

The number on the screen of the calculator was counting down. Just as Artemis realized what it was, Butler reached around through his window, plucked the calculator from the windshield, and hurled it into the sky. It exploded in an orange plume above them.

Butler pressed on the gas, and they zoomed toward their quarry's car, pulling up beside. "Hold on, Master Fowl," he said, concentrating.

Suddenly the other car swerved to the side, off the road. Their tires screeching loudly, Butler and Artemis turned after them.

The other car was quite far ahead of them. They were driving over unpaved land, no road or buildings or people in sight. It was rough on the car and its passengers; Artemis bumped his head as they bounced violently driving over the uneven ground. A less skilled driver than Butler would have been unable to avoid the trees.

Far ahead, the other car stopped. The man got out with the unconscious fairy in a fireman's carry and ran around a corner of trees, out of sight. Butler caught up and stopped their car as well. "Stay in the car, Master Artemis," he said, holding his Sig Sauer.

Artemis followed Butler out of the car and the way their quarry had gone. They heard a rumbling engine start up somewhere they couldn't see. The two of them tore after the abductor, Artemis panting rather hard at this point. As they ran around trees, different parts of the area became visible to them. They saw that their pursuit had taken them to the bank of a wide river. Then all at once they saw something new and jarring in the nature.

It was a giant vehicle—something like a tank, but with odd boat-like elements to it. The man was driving it on an open deck.

"A Salamander," he heard Butler breathe. Butler closed one eye and lifted his gun. He shot at the man, the bullets sparking off the armored metal. The man reached for something Artemis couldn't see and then pointed at Butler.

A glowing red line shot between the two men and seared the ground, narrowly missing Butler, who ducked out of the way. The red light vanished, and the man sped his Salamander toward the river.

"That was a laser!" Artemis said, quite surprised.

Butler shot again and missed. The man was getting too far away now, and moving too fast. Artemis watched as the Salamander rolled right off the land on its treads and plopped massively into the river, where it floated and sailed. An aquatic tank.

Butler and Artemis ran to the water's edge. The Salamander was speeding downriver, spitting up water behind it as it went. The chase was over. They could do nothing but watch it go.

"The Indus will take them to Baltistan before we can catch up," said Butler, unable to suppress the bitterness in his voice. "From there they'll disappear."

"Don't give up hope just yet, my friend," Artemis said smoothly. He showed his manservant a small handheld device. "I brought this for the creature, but I managed to get the kidnapper in a shot as well." The screen of the device showed a photograph of the fairy in the form of the skinny bald boy, as well as the man who'd abducted it. Artemis allowed himself a small smile. "No one can hide when we've got a picture."

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In a Skardu hotel room, at midday, with Butler beside him working diligently on a laptop computer, Artemis sat, and pondered. He couldn't stop thinking about the Sith and her words: "I wanted to thank you for what you did… …you were the one who created me." He had been racking his brains, but had no memory of ever creating a new kind of fairy or doing anything that could lead to it.

Butler, meanwhile, had been searching through online records for the man who had stolen the Sith. It was not much of an issue for Artemis and Butler to find anything hidden on the internet, even from America. They could even access some confidential files of state and local governments without too much effort. With the picture Artemis had snapped of the kidnapper, it shouldn't be very hard.

"Anything on our man yet, Butler?" asked Artemis.

"Oh yes, I found him. This is interesting."

"I'm all ears."

"His name is Edward McCracken, and he's a wanted criminal. Hired muscle for one of the most dangerous and elusive men in the world—Ledroptha Curtain."

Artemis had heard of Ledroptha Curtain before. He was the inventor of a very powerful and valuable kind of tidal turbine, and had owned an educational Institute in the United States until recently. The last Artemis knew of him was that the school was now shut down and Mr. Curtain had disappeared. There had been stories that he was involved in mysterious criminal activity.

"Goodness gracious," said Artemis. "That _is_ interesting. What does Ledroptha Curtain want with our fairy?"

"That's just it, sir. I don't think he does want the fairy."

Artemis waited for Butler to explain.

"I kept digging," Butler said, "and I found something else. Look at this." He showed Artemis what was currently on the screen of his computer: a row of four photographs, all of them of children around Artemis's own age. One of the photographs—the second from the left—showed a bald, spectacled face that he recognized.

"That's… That's the boy the Sith was disguised as," said Artemis, astounded in spite of himself.

Butler nodded. "His name is George Washington."

"George Washington?"

"Yes sir."

Artemis clasped his hands. "Fair enough. Continue."

"He's in the Witness Protection Program," said Butler. "Witness to the crimes of Ledroptha Curtain."

Artemis tried to make sense of it all. "Then Mr. McCracken may have snatched the wrong person—or…creature. He wanted this boy George Washington—but he got the Sith."

Butler shook his head in wonderment.

"Who are the other three children?" asked Artemis, looking at the photographs.

"Reynard Muldoon, Kate Wetherall, and Constance Contraire. Also under protection. All four of them live in Stonetown, Massachusetts. Quite near Curtain's old Institute, as a matter of fact."

Artemis rubbed his chin, musing. "If Ledroptha Curtain wants to capture these children, we can assume he's going to try again once he realizes he doesn't have the boy he thinks he does."

"Sir?"

Artemis leaned back in his chair. "Get Juliet on the phone, please, Butler, and then pack your bags. We're going to Stonetown."


	2. Let Drop the Curtain

Author's Note: **Is it wrong of me to enjoy the crypticness of this chapter? Don't worry, you'll get your answers soon enough.**

**(Pssssst. Every little bit of information in this chapter is important. Every. Little. Bit.)**

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"Good afternoon, Mr. Benedict, and thank you for participating in this interview. My name is Inspector Gaines."

Mr. Benedict's study was quiet, and occupied only by the government inspector, the four young members of the Mysterious Benedict Society, and Mr. Benedict himself. Due to recent unfortunate incidents, the Benedict household had been flooding with government agents day and night, and everyone had been subject to multiple questioning sessions. The Mysterious Benedict Society were all somewhat irritated by the agents, and very much anxious for the same reason that the agents were there, and none of them were quite as adept at putting on a pleasant face as Mr. Benedict.

"I do hate to be impolite, but Mr. Gaines, I have already been interrogated countless times—" said Mr. Benedict.

"It's not an interrogation, just an interview," Mr. Gaines said.

"—and I really doubt I have any useful new information for you."

"We know what we're doing, Mr. Benedict."

Mr. Benedict leaned back and smiled. "I didn't mean to imply anything to the contrary. Very well, but is it really necessary for the children to be here? I would prefer they—"

"I'm afraid it is necessary," said Mr. Gaines. "They've been involved extensively in all of this." He shuffled through some notes and clicked a ballpoint pen. "Let's begin by talking about where you and the children have been for the past few days. I understand you recently returned from abroad?"

"Yes," said Mr. Benedict pleasantly. "Skardu, Pakistan."

"Is it correct that you were there on the business of investigating the whereabouts of Mr. Curtain?"

"Yes. We were following a lead that suggested he might be in the city."

Mr. Gaines scribbled on a clipboard. "Yes, I know about that," he said. "And why did you feel the need to bring the children on this trip?"

"Because they are some of the best detectives I have ever worked with," Mr. Benedict said seriously. Then he smiled. "And Sticky had a high interest in visiting Pakistan."

"Why?" said Mr. Gaines sharply. Sticky looked at him in alarm.

Mr. Benedict chuckled. "Because he is an intellectual person who enjoys learning about foreign countries."

"Hmm," said Mr. Gaines. He scribbled some more. "Did this trip result in further leads or evidence that Curtain had been there?"

Mr. Benedict's smile drooped a little. "No, sir. We didn't find anything."

"I see."

"Mr. Gaines," said Mr. Benedict, "I understand that you and the other agents are here for good reason, but my family is feeling rather stifled. My house is quite safe with the maze and Milligan to protect us. All this really isn't necessary."

"Oh, but I disagree, Mr. Benedict," said Mr. Gaines. "Ledroptha Curtain stole something incredibly dangerous and valuable from your possession and then vanished without a trace, and he could very well return to steal some _human_ charges, so all this is quite necessary."

"The children would like to be able to spend some time playing together outside."

"And so they can, but they must be monitored by agents at all times."

Constance's face darkened into a glower. "Listen, you stuffy old goat," she said, "we need to have some privacy in our own house, so you can just take your agents—"

"Constance!" Mr. Benedict admonished. "I'm sorry, Mr. Gaines. This is one reason why I didn't want to conduct this interview with the children present."

"That's alright, Mr. Benedict. Kids will be kids."

Kate cracked her knuckles.

"Speaking of which," said Mr. Gaines, "I'd like to ask you children a few questions as well." He turned a page and addressed the four children. "Which one of you was it who found the Whisperer gone?"

"What, we aren't important enough for you to keep track of that?" snapped Constance.

"It was me," said Reynie. "I went downstairs to look for Mr. Benedict, and the cellar was empty. We found him here in his study, but no one knew where the Whisperer was."

"You and he and Agent Wetherall searched, but found no clues?"

Reynie shook his head. "We found nothing."

Mr. Gaines wrote on his clipboard. "Could they have gotten past the security system on their own?"

"No," said Reynie. "Either they can walk through walls, or someone let them in."

Mr. Gaines nodded. "Terrible business," he murmured.

Kate spoke. "And then, of course, we notified the government, and they haven't left us alone since then."

Mr. Gaines twitched his pen in annoyance. "Look, little girl, I have to be here," he said brusquely. "The government is here to protect you."

Kate looked like she was contemplating demonstrating her ability to protect herself, so Mr. Benedict stepped in. "Would it be acceptable for you to operate nearby, rather than on the premises?" he suggested. "Our next-door neighbor is actually renting out a couple of rooms. Her husband has passed away and her children have now moved out. Her name is Mrs. Parson, she's a very nice lady—"

"Thank you for the offer, but we're going to continue to operate on this property," Mr. Gaines cut in. "It's for your own safety, and for the recovery of the Whisperer." He stood up. "That's all I need for today. Thank you for your time."

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When the Sith regained consciousness, she was lying on cold metal.

Her wrists were bound as well, in handcuffs. She sat up quietly and glanced around her. She was in a small chamber. The door had a few short slats at about head-level that looked onto the deck of the Salamander.

Her first emotion was murderous anger at the man who had dared to drug and kidnap her, but she controlled that. He would be punished later. For the time being, she would watch and listen. She stood up and looked through the slats in the door. The strips of light through the slats fell on the bald boy's shadowed face like stripes on a deadly tiger.

The mad who had kidnapped her and an old man in a green plaid jacket were sitting next to one another near the back. The old man was in a wheelchair. Another man in the same pinstriped suit as the kidnapper was driving the Salamander. Many other men, all in suits and with briefcases, sat around the deck. There was one person who stood out—a gangly young man who might have been in his late teens, with curly red hair and large feet, who was staring out over the railing.

The Sith watched them all, and trained her powerful ears. Even in human form, her senses were far superior to those of real humans. She listened carefully as her kidnapper and the man in the wheelchair spoke in low voices.

"Has the message come yet?" asked the old man.

"No," the kidnapper replied. "Our radio is tuned precisely to the correct frequency. When it comes, we'll get it."

"You better. What about the Whisperer?"

"Safe and sound."

The Sith stayed where she was, deciding to pay attention to this interesting conversation rather than set herself free at once. She had no idea who these people were, and clearly they didn't realize who she was either, or else they would have known that handcuffs and a locked door could not contain her.

The kidnapper called the man in the wheelchair "Mr. Curtain," and the Sith inferred that Mr. Curtain was his boss. They spoke of a machine they called the Whisperer, and as they did the Sith gradually realized the nature of this machine. A device that could control, communicate with, and wipe the minds of others... Very interesting indeed.

"Sir," said the kidnapper, "we haven't stayed in one place for a while now. Are you having trouble finding a safe place?"

"Oh, no, McCracken," said the old man. "After this operation, we'll settle down. I've got a place. There I can finish my work."

McCracken held something out to Mr. Curtain. "You might need these for when the little darling wakes up." Something shiny and silver was in his hand. Mr. Curtain took it, and the Sith saw clearly what it was: a pair of metallic silver gloves.

The Sith's eyes widened. She recognized the material.

How did _he_ get it? This was a most intriguing development. She had a task, and she ought not to diverge from it now, but when she had seen to her unfinished business...

The Sith changed from the bald boy to a tiny gnat; the handcuffs fell to the floor. As the gnat, she flew through one of the slats in the metal door, out to the deck of the Salamander. She flew over to Mr. Curtain, curious about the papers that were on his lap.

The gnat buzzed in front of Mr. Curtain, who didn't dream that it could be reading and understanding his top-secret documents. From those documents, the Sith learned what Curtain's immediate plan was and where he planned to go next. She now had what she needed to find him again. She was ready to leave; the thought of what Curtain would say when he found his prisoner gone right out of his handcuffs amused her.

The Sith decided to pay Curtain another visit soon, and flew off to find Artemis Fowl.


End file.
